Curse Of Chucky Review

Poster art for curse of chucky

Poster art for curse of chucky

Who didn’t like Child’s Play? I mean come on a possessed doll with a foul mouth, bad (in a good way) animatronics, Brad Dourif and Chris Sarandon, what’s not to love?!

Then came the sequels, better FX, horrible story-lines, and one-liners smothered in cheese,  now cheese is good in small  amounts, it can bring a delightful taste to the horror taste buds, but in the case of the sequels, just a stomachache that wouldn’t go away.

So what if creator Don Mancini and original villain Brad Dourif teamed up and brought the series back to it’s dark roots, exchanging cheesy one-liners with mood, darkness, and hey scares…

That’s exactly what Mancini gives us with Curse Of Chucky. The story slowly builds itself giving time for character development, back story, and narrative before you hit the downward slope of the roller coaster. The main character Nica, played brilliantly by Fiona Dourif, is a twenty something girl bound to a wheelchair and has the task of stopping the wrath of Chucky in this entertaining entry to the series.

Fiona Dourif In Curse Of Chucky

Fiona Dourif In Curse Of Chucky

The story and characters are developed well and even though a low budget project the production value is up there with big budget horror, especially Tony Gardners animatronic effects. The new (but familiar) look of the re-designed Chucky doll is brilliant. Watching Chucky slowly walk down the stairs towards a helpless Nica is one of the greatest scenes in the film (See video below).

Curse Of Chucky is the sequel that should have been back in 1990 and every Chucky fan should thank Mancini for making this film and delivering a film deserving of this lovable, horror icon.

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Rob Zombie’s The Lords Of Salem Review

Sheri Moon Zombie in The Lords of Salem

Sheri Moon Zombie in The Lords of Salem

Being a fan of House Of 1000 Corpses and Devil’s Rejects, (not that big of a fan of Rob Zombie’s Halloween and Halloween 2 revisions), I was interested and intrigued about The Lords Of Salem. One can not argue that Zombie uses images and music to bring a beautiful visual experience to the screen. Even in the Halloween films he was able to accomplish this. But with Lords the story is lacking, confusing, and just plain boring. Again Zombie uses Sheri Moon Zombie, whose performance here is the best of her career and is the only watchable or interesting element in the film.

The movie is a bad blend of Rosemary’s Baby and The Grudge. The film is not frightening or scary, the whole time I was hoping for the cast (besides Sheri) to die in terrible ways. Instead of opting to write some scary scenes, Zombie, instead goes for the rehashed staples of having creepy figures standing in corners that the characters don’t see, but thankfully the audience does (why the Witch would want to watch Heidi feed her dog still boggles my mind).

Rob Zombie Directs The Lords Of Salem

Rob Zombie Directs The Lords Of Salem

Zombie tries to shock us with nudity, and the occult, but does not bring the creepiness, nor horrific moments that a flick like this needs. Yes, seeing old ladies naked is pretty scary, but not the scares I want in my horror flicks.

The video below shows just how un-scary The Lords Of Salem gets.

The Fucking Genius That Is Chillerama

Chillerama Directors Green, Sullivan, Lynch, Rafkin

Chillerama Directors Green, Sullivan, Lynch, Rafkin

Okay I’m a little late on this one. I would have not even known about Chillerama if it wasn’t for the invention called NetFlix. You know you’re bored nothing to watch so you randomly pick something. Sometimes it blows and sometimes it’s surprisingly good. It’s the best way to discover shit you would otherwise never watch.

Now there are good, great, epic, amazing, and Oscar worthy films. Rarely do you come across one that you can label as utterly fucking genius. Chillerama certainly fits in this category.

The film is an anthology of shorts with a wrap-around story. The shorts are Wadzilla, I was a Teenage Werebear, The Diary Of Anne Frankenstein, and the wrap-around flick Zom-B-Movie. First off the titles are genius! This movie is a bunch of guys (Adam Rifkin, Adam Green, Joe Lynch, and Tim Sullivan) having fun, thinking of the most outrageous ideas and shooting them.

Ray Wise In Wadzilla

Ray Wise In Wadzilla

I’m not going to review each segment, I will write a little about them later. I will, however, review Wadzilla Directed by and Staring Adam Rifkin. This short is about (I’m laughing out loud just thinking about it) a guy named Miles with not a low sperm count but he can only produce one sperm. His Doctor (Ray Wise) gives him an experimental drug that’s supposed to increase his sperm count. However every time he gets aroused he has excruciating pain in his balls (I would write testicles, but this is my fuckin’ blog). Miles returns to the Doctor who has him jerk off into a cup. A few moments later there is a scream in the office and the doctor rushes in to see Miles has ejaculated  one giant sperm. The Doctor tells him that instead of producing more sperm, every time he gets excited it makes the one sperm grow bigger. He instructions him to jerk off every time he gets aroused.

There’s a hilarious scene where Miles, fights with his own sperm, the sperm then grows and starts wrecking havoc on the town. Where would a giant sperm go… to impregnate the statue of liberty of course.

The film is stocked full of classic comedy. It’s a throw back to the old scifi B movies of the past, but it’s better because of the subject matter. I almost pissed myself watching this one. If you want to be entertained, shocked, and just overwhelmed by brilliance you have to check it out. The effects are great (in a B-movie way of course), the cast is great. You can tell everyone involved is having a lot of fun and you wish you were there with them on set. This short HAS TO BE SEEN to be believed.

The other shorts were entertaining as well. The second best was the Zom-B-Movie (Directed by Joe Lynch) wrap-around story. It’s got Zombie lactation, severed penises being eating, Zombie blowjobs, and a girl getting head with… well a  head.

The Diary of  Anne Frankenstein (Directed by Adam Green) has some great moments. There’s a scene where Hitler (Joel David Moore) is hiding from the monster (named Meshugannah haha and played amazingly by Kane Hodder) the monster tries the door but it is locked so he just walks around the set and confronts him. Great stuff!

Enjoying zombie in Penis Zom-B-Movie

Enjoying zombie Penis in Zom-B-Movie

The least favorite, well I didn’t like it at all, was I Was A Teengage Werebear (Directed by Tim Sullivan). People might say “of course cause it was about a GAY werebear”, but no. There wasn’t any comedy or horror elements. The concept was cute but did not deliver on the outrageous funniness that the others had. The musical numbers weren’t funny nor choreographed well. It was like Sullivan wanted to make a great B-movie schlock flick but in his heart he wanted to make a serious musical. Skip this short and everything will be alright.

So there you have it. Jump on NetFlix and watch some Chillerama!!

Hollywood How to Remake A Movie: Evil Dead 2013 Review

Evil Dead 2013

Fede Alvarez, Rodo Sayagues, and Robert Tapert Evil Dead 2013 Set

One of the many movies that began my love for horror and makeup effects is Sam Raimi’s Evil Dead 2. The film is filled with non-stop action, over the top gore, and humor. It is a well blended horror smoothie that goes down smooth and leaves you wanting more. Even today it is still one of my all-time favorite movies. I didn’t visit the original until after I saw the second, which is also one of my favs to this day.

When I first heard about the remake I didn’t get all crazy, cursing at Bruce Campbell on twitter or slamming it out on the internet. After all, there are some remakes out there that I have actually enjoyed (okay one, Marcus Nispel’s Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake, can’t believe that was 10 years ago). So unlike most fans, I waited patiently, mouth shut, to see what new Director Fede Alvarez’s remake would be like.

Guy’s this movie is fucking incredible. It’s not like watching a remake at all. The film stands on it’s own. Fede Alvarez took that well blended smoothie, added some fuckin thorns, rocks, guts, cats, babies, insects, and bones into the mix.

evil dead 2013

Jane Levy sitting on Sam Raimi’s favorite car on set of the Evil Dead remake

The movie’s plot differs slightly from the original, it brings together a group of friends to help a drug addict get straight, so there’s a deeper motive to go to the cabin. With the main character Mia (played amazingly by Jane Levy) going through withdrawals, everyone thinks all the weird shit she is seeing is just part of the side effects until it starts happening to them.

The cast is superb, the direction incredible, the cinematography stunning, and the makeup effects are un-fucking real. This is the goriest flick I have ever seen. Some think it’s a bit over the top when in actuality it fits perfectly with the overall tone of the film, which is played straight with no slapstick overtones. This is a horror movie folks and one that you need to see whether you are a horror fan or not. Fede has certainly gained a name as a director for this one. To be honest, I wouldn’t mind if they killed the original series and just continued the series with this one, because we have all needed a good straight up horror flick for many years. Hopefully, with the sequel they wont dumb it down to a PG-13, which is the trend these days.

Hats off to Fede Alvarez, Bruce Campbell, Sam Raimi, and Robert Tapert for bringing us the best horror flick of the decade.

Cool poster Evil Dead 2013

Cool poster Evil Dead 2013

State of Emergency Review

An infected towns person from State of Emergency

An infected towns person from State of Emergency

I grew up with Zombie films. Dawn, Day, Night, Shaun, etc etc. I loved them. But it seems like since Walking Dead dropped on AMC anyone and everyone is trying to do a Zombie flick. If you search NetFlix, Itunes, and especially Redbox, there is a ton of direct to DVD and VOD Zombie fare that is not worth a shit. It’s just that the Zombie genre is so fun and loved that everyone thinks they can produce a good Zombie flick. Which a truly good one is far and few between.

State of Emergency is no different. A chemical plant explodes and turns the people of the town into flesh eating um, well Zombie’s. The term Zombie is never actually referenced in the flick, like a lot of Zombie flicks out there the film makers leave the term out to try and be different, but they are in fact, Zombies. If something like this happened today, in real life, everyone would be using the term.

Written and Directed by Turner Clay and staring Jay Hayden, State of Emergency is not your typical Zombie flick, it’s way more boring. The Cinematography by Tony Oberstar is really the only redeeming quality here. The story is very slow and drawn out, this could actually have worked better as a short film because there is really no build up, or threat. There are like three Zombie attacks in the whole film, by single Zombies, and with two guns in the mix it’s not all that threatening or scary.

Two guns 3 zombies not to frightening

Two guns 3 zombies not to frightening

It was refreshing to see the Zombies with bright red eyes, instead of the milky white staple, but other than that the zombies didn’t seem that frightening or threatening. Characterization is, like always, thin and in a movie with four people held up in a warehouse with only three zombie attacks you’d think Clay could at least flesh out the characters, but refused.

I really wanted to like this film, I was rooting for a fresh spin on the Zombie genre, but walked away wishing I hadn’t even watched it. If you really like Zombie flicks or horror movies in general, State Of Emergency will surely disappoint.

-Chad Armstrong

Dark Skies Review

I love a good alien abduction movie. Makes you think if there is really anything out there and gives you something to think about. One of my favorites is Robert Lieberman’s Fire In The Sky, great flick!

Dark Skies review

My reviews are pretty easy-going. I like to be entertained, bottom line. I don’t analyze every shot, every line of dialogue, every effect. I used to shoot film in my younger years and know how hard it is to make a film. So I understand the hurdles and obstacles in making a film.

Dark Skies fails, and fails badly. Written and Directed by Scott Stewart (Priest was very enjoyable and entertaining) Dark Skies is just cliche’ after cliche’ after cliche’. This movie is basically a ghost story (Poltergeist comes to mind) with alien’s. Things are moved around at night when everyone is sleeping, strange drawings by the youngest child, hundreds of birds hitting the house, a creepy stranger who has all the answers, family pictures being taken out of their frames, a character stands outside with his mouth open in a silently scream (Invasion of the Body Snatchers style) blah blah blah. It’s hard to believe that an alien race that wants to do experiments on us and eventually abduct us would steal family pictures, stack items up in the kitchen, or make us see things that aren’t there.

I don’t know about you but if I walked into my son’s room and saw a figure standing over his bed then instantly he’s outside walking around when all the doors locked and the alarm wasn’t tripped, he’d be sleeping with me from then on.

Keri Russell in Dark Skies

There is a twist ending, though it’s not much of a twist, we see it coming after the meeting with the stranger.  It just seemed like Stewart attempted to make us go oooh at the end, which doesn’t work here.

This film has little to be desired. The only redeeming qualities were Stars Keri Russell and Josh Hamilton, who did a great job for the script they were given and made the flick even watchable. There is nothing new to see here. If you’re looking for a great alien flick check out Fire In The Sky, or M. Night Shyamalan’s Signs.

-Chad Armstrong

Aftershock Review

Nicolas Lopez directs Eli Roth in Aftershock

Nicolas Lopez directs Eli Roth in Aftershock

Let’s face it folks, disaster movies aren’t normally that entertaining. They usually go for the ooh’s and ahh’s of CGI where CGI is the star and the character’s are just cut out gingerbread men. Not just that but you already know going into each and every one of them that it will feature a group of characters that will be mentally and physically tried by the situation. Which almost is never done that well, and takes away any and all surprise factor.

I’ll be honest, I procrastinated watching Aftershock because of the above. I would have skipped it altogether if Eli Roth’s name wasn’t attached. Roth is a bold film maker, like his movies or not, there is no argument that he certainly doesn’t shy away from the subject matter. Roth here, attached as Producer and surprisingly one of the Stars of the film. He certainly proved he can be a leading man. Of course we all loved him as the “Ooooh faced” stoner in Cabin Fever, but here he proves himself as a real actor, and a good one at that.

Aftershock is a fresh sign of relief from the typical fare that drives this mundane genre. Directed superbly by Nicolas Lopez, this film goes beyond the disaster itself and is a narrative on society. How some people, no matter how bad a tragedy is, will take advantage of the situation, with no regards to others and that’s what’s horrifying.

On set Aftershock

On set Aftershock

The main characters are fleshed out well. I believe it’s around the 40 minute mark before all Hell breaks loose. The first 40 minutes Lopez  dedicates time to introduce the characters and allows us to get to know them, understand them, so we can feel for them when the shit goes down. This is rare in any genre these days and is welcomed with open arms.

The movie is gruesome, horrifying, funny, and just down-right fun. If you haven’t had the pleasure of viewing it, get on your favorite VOD service or Itunes and watch it TONIGHT!

We here a Legless Corpse look forward to Nocolas Lopez’s new flicks and seeing more of Eli Roth on the big screen and not just on Instagram and Twitter.

-Chad Armstrong

Texas Chainsaw 3D Review

Texas-Chainsaw-3D-2I have a confession to make, I’m not a huge fan of Tobe Hooper’s 1974  Classic, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Yes, it had some great frightening and visual moments, but overall I found it very slow paced, not very frightening, and no where near as shocking as the hype made it out to be. Maybe that’s the hype’s fault maybe I’m just retarded. But… I am a huge fan of Hooper’s Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2, Marcus Nispel’s Remake, and even Jeff Burr’s Leatherface: Texas Chainsaw Massacre 3 (I had a huge crush on Kate Hodge at the time). The rest of them we all know we could have done without.

When I sat down to watch the John Luessenhop directed Texas Chainsaw 3D I didn’t know what to expect. I read some of the reviews just trashing it and it didn’t paint a very pretty picture. However, we all know how the horror genre gets painted in reviews, and like you, I’m sure bad reviews don’t keep you away from some of your favorite franchises.

Texas Chainsaw Movie Review

Texas Chainsaw Movie Review

My opinion of the flick is in the minority (reviews are in fact someone’s opinion,ya know). I really liked this entry. Yes it follows the horror and other franchise typical story-lines, however, it has some cool tricks that you wouldn’t expect. Like it starts off right where the original 1974 film ends. Which includes some cool cameo’s by Gunner Hansen and Bill Moseley. This automatically gets you invested in the story. Another of it’s tricks or twists of course the ending, which I will not spoil for those that have not seen it, is totally original, and some will argue, believable. Leatherface (played by Dan Yeager) is the best Leatherface performance in the franchise. He has to react to situations in this film instead of just act, like in all the others.

On set Texas Chainsaw 3D

On set Texas Chainsaw 3D

The character’s are pretty much your standard fare, not much fleshed out as far as character development or back story. The only character that is well written and rounded out is the lead, Heather Miller (Alexandra Daddario). So she is the only character we really care about and sympathize with, which is fine by us because we can watch Daddario all day on the big screen. She is the best heroine in the franchise, beating out Jessica Biel by a hair. Daddario continues to amaze us as a diverse actress. She was amazing in Bereavement, and she’s certainly someone to watch out for.

Sure Texas Chainsaw 3D has some cheesy moments, but don’t all good horror flicks have a few? This flick certainly wont go down as a horror classic, but it’s extremely fun and entertaining. If you’re on the fence about shelling out some cash to see it, don’t be a fool it’s entertainment well worth paying for.

-Chad Armstrong